Aries - Mars (March 20 - April 18)
Those born under this sign are naturally dimwitted and have difficulty learning the simplest activities. Only prolonged beating of Aries can be made to assimilate a minimum of knowledge (multiplication table, exceptions on "RZ".). People under this sign, due to their dullness at work, disorganize everything, thanks to which they are quickly promoted to high positions. In social contacts, Barany SA are usually extremely troublesome and due to the slightest pretext, and often without, they cause brawls and brawls. Fortunately, they are short-lived.
Taurus - Venus (April 19 - May 19)
The charm of the county Casanova and homosexual tendencies. The undisturbed belief that he is the center of the world. He likes to be cute both in front of the mirror and at work. Terrorizes the closest family from birth to old age. He never reads anything, although he has a preconception about everything. Is sweating.
Gemini- Mercury (May 20 - June 20)
People under this sign do not reach maturity, both intellectually and emotionally. The only thing they can really do is fill out a lottery ticket once a week. They hide it clumsily, but their greatest pleasure is picking their noses. When inviting such a person to your home, remember that he is stealing and be sure to search before leaving.
Cancer - Moon (June 21 - July 21)
I'm at a loss for words. Even a closed branch won't help. Those born under the sign of Cancer cheat at every step, betray, love to plant pigs. Cancers can never be trusted in anything. If, for example, Cancer says that he values your friendship, you can be sure that he wrote a denunciation to the boss an hour ago. Crayfish are always envious of someone, and after twenty-five they go bald, slouch, and rub their teeth. Rightly so.
Leo - Sun (July 22 - August 21)
Those born under the sign of Leo are prone to drug addiction, drunkenness and the most brutal debauchery from an early age. They do not like to learn, they have difficulty finishing schools, even special ones. They love perjury and are very happy to testify in court. Unmasked, they cause fights and Dantesque scenes. Fortunately, Lions do not participate in family life.
Virgo – (22.VIII – 21.IX)
A more personal relationship with people born under this sign is a hopeless thing, because Virgo - both male and female - as an erotic partner shows the charm of an elephant and the ingenuity of a rabbit. Children from a Virgo relationship with any other sign generally end up in neurosis clinics. Mentally, a Virgo is always XNUMX% virgin.
Libra - Venus (September 22 - October 22)
You have to be really unlucky to be born under the sign of Libra. It exaggerates pretty much everything. Libra has a short memory and eyesight, two left hands, dull hearing and wit, professional ambitions and a sense of humor in decline. However, they are not lucky with money, success in love, reason and health. Because they have what they don't, Libras make ideal spouses.
Scorpio - Mars (October 23 - November 21)
She has persecution mania. Nothing can change his conviction that Scorpio's numerous, constant failures are always to blame for someone else, not himself. Out of fear, he attacks first and from behind. He enjoys tormenting animals and dreams of a job as a caretaker in the OO..
Sagittarius - Jupiter (November 22 - December 20)
The individual of this sign shows a lot of energy and ingenuity - a born social activist. Of course, whatever he does, he'll screw up. As a child, he steals candy from younger children. He is prone to self-abuse and peeping in the toilet. In his old age, he writes memoirs made up from beginning to end.
Capricorn - Saturn (December 21 - January 19)
Every healthy and self-developing society should immediately isolate Capricorn people. Capricorn, himself an alcoholic and illiterate, willingly corrupts the youth, rapes the elderly, until he falls into inevitable impotence. It is only suitable for digging trenches, and that under supervision. In family life, he usually beats.
Aquarius - Uranus, Saturn (January 20 - February 18)
He has a crazy penchant for fourth-class gastronomy and never repays borrowed money. Men of this sign, sooner or later, turn out to be exhibitionists, and women nymphomaniacs. They're fine in prison.
Pisces - Jupiter, Neptune (Feb 19 - March 19)
He constantly causes misunderstandings at work and at home. He certainly won't invent gunpowder. Works as a bus ticket inspector. He likes pornography. God forbid he be allowed to use devices more complicated than that. potato masher, because it will spoil it. Favorable sign - none.